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Friday, March 09, 2007
Devils In Heaven?
Now, now... just a certain idea I want to explore which i believe many have thought of.
People do bad things and when they pass this world, they are sent to hell right?
And it is believed that in hell, these bad people are punished for eternity by the devil who torments them. In fact, they suffer in burning fires and all they do is scream. It really is a sucky thing. I paint a picture in my mind of myself burning and burning but never really getting burnt and it carries on forever. Haha... (Hell issues us with fire proof body suits?) Lame?
Ok...then the devil is the one who advocates evil right. So he (could very much be a she ok!) goes around tempting people to do wrong by introducing low cut pants and blouses, creating the "expensive hype" for and the want for such items. he also created greed? weird. And when people do wrong, and are sent to him, he tortures them. May I add that this torturing is deemed as punishment for all the wrong deeds one has done.
This feels damn weird, cos 1stly, it is rather ironic that the devil punishes those who follow in his steps.
Now, if those who do wrong are sent to hell, who sends them there right? I'm presuming the people in charge on heaven do that and send them to hell for the devil to conveniently "punish" them. It almost seems like that the devil and heaven are working hand in hand to curb evil in the after life.
It is rather complicated and only can be though of if ur life is bloody stagnant and you got almost completly nuts to do.
Between angels and insects.
Jon
withrealjuice scribbled at 5:58 PM. + + +
Friday, December 29, 2006
Writer's Block?
(skip right to the bottom for the real stuff)
I've not been blogging in a while have I?
The truth is, really haven't anything much to say. I've run out of smut and smart things to say. I've been crackin my bloody nuts to think of something but I guess I'm a bloody drone now and I've lost my touch.
Then why am I here?
I'm fuckin bored to every shit molecule of me. But am I going to do anything stupid like get someone pregnant, get a tatoo of my gf's name, pierce my nipples?
No.
I'll just rant away here. Ok, few topics I shall touch on soon. undesired pregnancy. killing someone. Racism. Mac Donalds.
But do I want to be sappy. No. But crap, I've been labelled sappy.
Ok, even this entry seems to not have the 'jonathan' in it.
ok... time for a sex joke then. Hehe.
so this guy orders beer and like drink 3/4 a mug then pours the rest on his palm. He continues this a few times and the bartender is irritated right. since the poor son of a gun has to wipe up after him. the bartender asks him why is he doin as he does. the man replies " I'm gettin my date drunk"
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahaha
Now that's better aint it!
Jonathan. (Gibberish guru will be right back)
withrealjuice scribbled at 9:04 AM. + + +
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Cigarettes.So Fuckin Cool.
I take one after one
Feelings the empty lungs with smoke.
I feel fuckin cool as usual.
Exhaling through the nose and mouth.
My chest warms up for that few seconds.
That is what I really miss my dear.
The warmth.
Your warmth.
I take another puff, a longer one.
This coolness.
This warmth.
This satisfaction.
It's all an illusion.
All I want is you.
Puffin like a magic dragon.
I feel the magic run through my veins.
I still feel empty.
All that puffin in vain.
I need you in my arms.
I'd love that heartbeat, Beating so fast.
My stick is done.
My chest is not warm anymore.
I don feel cool no more.
I don have that adrenalin.
Come back quick my love.
Smokin Hot.
Magic Dragon Jon.
withrealjuice scribbled at 4:34 PM. + + +
Saturday, December 09, 2006
First Love
Many people never forget their 1st love. But little really remain with their 1st love. My 1st love is special. I kinda matured and told myself I love this girl, on my 15th birthday. I'm 20 now and I'm still madly in love with her. It wasn't as smooth as it is in the movies and I didnt have to beat up anyone by myself like in the tamil movies. But yea... it wasnt smooth.
However, boy am I rockin happy now with my rocking girlfriend or rather shall I say 1st love.
Now the thing bout 1st loves is that when you think bout them, you always have that really idiotic grin on your face, no matter how the situation is at tt moment. Sometimes, you grin so hard, your jaw hurts.1st love also makes you feel so young.
Most imptly!!!! 1st love always leaves a tingle in your stomach when you meet them. You will always feel a little special thing for them. What's that feeling?
I cant tell. Really. But lucky for me, my 1st love is right with me. Some guys do get lucky eh.
Hmmm, I'm hoping you people read this and just have a bloody good day since you are probably smiling already.
 
I love you Uma.
Lucky Jon
withrealjuice scribbled at 9:05 PM. + + +
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The United Ladies
Ladies are a very united sex.
I've got proof.
1stly, they all wear bras. They really shouldn't.
2ndly, they always seem to have to go to the toilet at the same time!!!!
This I really can't understand. You always see like a queue of ladies all grinding their knees together just to keep it in. It seems to me like an alarm rang in the toilet and they all have to report suddenly like some kind of mobilization. Maybe we could use the women to gather along the borders and pee onto Red Land then we could drown at least one state. Wahahahahaha.
Whatever it is, I still can't understand why they all need to pee at the same time.
3rdly, which is rather pernicious to us men is that they all bleed at the same time.
Which clearly means that they are very dangerous since they go a bit crazy and weak from all that blood loss. We all know its scientifically proven that the women will get all whiny or fiery. All at the same time and can you imagine if a guy has a mother and sister living with him.
Dude, united ladies ain't working for us man.
We need to mobilize us men to do something like bring all the women to our rooms. Immediately.
Ambassador to all men
Jon
withrealjuice scribbled at 5:11 AM. + + +
Friday, December 01, 2006
Guess Who's Back?
Hello Beloveds!!!! I'm so sorry I've been away for a while in the oldest part of down under, rockhampton. Not cos its ancient but cos its filled with old people. I cant tell u much but I've fired the new artillery gun! oops....nth more than that. haha
Anyway, talking bout my trip, I've got a joke.
Q: What's an Australian Kiss?
A: Its a French Kiss Down Under!!!!!
Wahahaha....freakin wicked.
Ok, I'm sure you all missed me since you have this certain emptiness in your lives but I'll be right back at my braggin. right back.
fatter n fatter(bcos I've got lots of lurvin going on. Hehe)
Jon
withrealjuice scribbled at 10:54 PM. + + +
The Goddess 2
   
   
Need I say more? No. But will I? Yes. Haha.
I am totaly happy as u can see the angel rarely leaves my side. She's the beauty Queen while I worship her. Ok...actually I really need not say more. ok, maybe stop being envious people!!! wahahahahaha
happiest man ever
Jonathan who is loved deep deep by Uma. Mmmm...
withrealjuice scribbled at 11:47 AM. + + +
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Conservatism
I'm not sure if this is like a really well debated topic but I definitely have a thing or two to say bout it.
Is our country, Singapore, conservative?
BULLSHIT. FLYING CRAP. Bing Bing Ding Dong.
That's how u describe conservatism in my beautiful country.
I mean according to dictionary.com, conservatism means:Caution or moderation, as in behavior or outlook. Obviously, I'm going to be talking bout sex.
You see, remember how I was talking bout PDA and how some people are all "EEEEEEEEEE" or "YUCKS" at it. Then there is the people who would cringe at the thought of pre marital sex.
This is not really being censervative by the way.
See my country, may seem conservative but we all know its not true. I've got prove.
Look at our clubs. Do you know how much bang bang boogie goes around in it?
Has anyone heard of Tammy, the malay girl from the airport and the one at the staircase?
Singapore has a high legal abortion rate amongst teens?
I am the ultimate sex machine? (sorry, some self-advertising)
My source of ideas.
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/columnists/story/0,4136,99096,00.html
Then what has happened to all that cultural values?
All our tradition?
BULLSHIT. FLYING CRAP. Bing Bing Ding Dong.
Actually no. I have to disagree. Tradition and our customs are still there. I mean we are not ruthless hip banging barbarians. We just have to release the energy we have within.
Only please stop claiming to be conservative and go EEEEEEEEE or YUCKS or stare at couples who are decently affectionate in public. We all know all the project Xs that happens every single day regardless of race language religion and age! Seen the video with the sec 1 girl? This one I havent seen but heard of. Ok, so I'm not the Pornmeister.
Now, we got to stop declaring ourselves as conservative bcos that really is a whole lot of dinosaur crap. It then makes us a really hypocritical nation. Now, now that is nothing to be proud of ok! So buckle up, pull up your socks, wake up your idea ( always wanted to tell someone tt since my teachers have always ranted these melodious words to me) and realise that we are really quite funky and then stop trying to cover it up by creating the facade that we are all goodie goodie bcos the whole world knows man!!! We are even famous for out " 4 Floors of Whores"!
No more conservatism. Lets try acceptance.
Conserving Energy for the Weekend. Mmmmmmm....
Jonathan
withrealjuice scribbled at 8:18 AM. + + +
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Feelings
I leave my house with paltipations of the heart
I smile like an idiot when I pick you up
I hold your hand and then there's this rush
Rush of blood
I look at you and I drift
Drift away into thoughts of you and me
I kiss your lips and I am away
Away on a platform far away from this world. A beautiful platform.
I feel your breath on me and I cringe
Cringe, not from fear but from the girly feeling which sinks into my stomach when i feel loved by the angel,You.
I think of our future and I am afraid.
Afraid of how it might end, afraid of how I am.
Then I remember you and my heart is still. I get excited for the rest of my life, with you,
I feel you.
Close to me.
I love it.
Jonathan
  
 
withrealjuice scribbled at 1:12 AM. + + +
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Masturbation
In contrast to the common belied that masturbation is sinful, it has been proven tt it is actually puritannical to be jerking off. See... people are usually upset,angered or just crazy when committing crimes or doing stupid things like deciding to speak with an accent when u are clearly singaporean and normal or chop up fellow humans and throw them all over town or spend all their boyfriends money.
Now, masturbation has been proven to release many little things that make u happy. [ for u dumb people.... not sperm. ENDORPHINS. (for dumber people, its not a kind of fish, is a kind of hormone that jus makes u happy.)] and so masturbation relieves a person of any anger or depression thus making the person happy and void of sins. So my people... go get rubbin with ur Jergens. Make the world a better place.
Ps. Just don be a generous mother son and be shooting it on people.
The Holy Wanker
withrealjuice scribbled at 4:43 PM. + + +
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Sorry
Ok, last post wasnt as good as I wanted it to be. I think I need to better the list for how women can macth up to be as good lovers.
I've been really busy stinking my ass in my lovely olive green uniform. so i've got no real time for more words of wisdom but there's something I've got for you to think about.
Do gays get excited by their own weenie??? They are gays anyway right. Damn self sufficient wankers.
I've been trying to cut down on the smokes, purifying myself for my beautiful angel but man, everytime this organization stick me outfield, I lose all control.
Damn.
Its just like a cigarette, its something that I do
Over and over but between me and you
Its just like a cigarette Nobody's really fooled
I dont want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool
Soldier.
withrealjuice scribbled at 7:59 PM. + + +
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Men Are Better Lovers
Men are better lovers than woman.
It is pretty obvious right. My case is difficult to fight and it will definitely lessen the number of days i'm getting laid but what the hell, men are better lovers and a little self love couldn't hurt.
Ok, you always see men doing the romantic stuff. Buying flowers, jewellery, picking up their women and all. Women have somehow mould society to think that men should not be treated well cos if women lets say buy men jewellery or pick them up from work, men would seem less of a man.
That's bloody not true!!! All women come be romantic to me and come pamper me, I wont feel any less than a real man and I can prove it. Really prove it.
You always hear how men have to take the first step. It is the men that has to initiate the holding hands, the 1st kiss, the 1st "kalinkin malinkin bang bang boogie", proposal of marriage and stuff. ( please take note that it is usually the women that initiate the divorces.)
Men are so good lovers, they can love a few women at the same time !!!!! How good can they get?
Now dearest women, I hope you feel something out of this post. Now to redeem yourselves, you could start loving us men more. Now now, don have to be shy. In fact isnt it an honour? We arent that bad a species you know. Take me for an example. From this blog you can probably tell that I'm freaking wise or really, you wouldnt be reading till this point.
Ok steps to redeem yourself.
1) Love him
Ok... rest of the steps are how to love him
2)Make love to him if don know how to love him.
3) cook, massage,serve.
4)give him money
5)feed him
6)project x
7)exercise under the covers
8) hold his hand
9)propose to him
10) breastfeed!!!!
Ok. enough said. The ball is now in your court. Do what you must.
The Better Lover.
withrealjuice scribbled at 4:45 PM. + + +
Monday, October 09, 2006
Making Sense Of Making Out
Ok, being the angel that I am, I have a problem understanding this proper term of making out.
1] Is making out just kissing?
2] Does making out include groping? or is groping optional?
3] Why just make out? Right... I mean why? Haha
4] Where to make out?
Ok, especially no.4
I was reading the forum and they were discussing PDA (Public Display of Affection) and there were some people who gave the feedback that people who participate in PDA should be able to tolerate people staring at them and maybe even passing comments.
This auntie's exact words are " So, if you want to do these things in a public place, you must be prepared to stare at you"
I think its really crappy of the auntie, unless the guy was already humping his bitch. But can u imagine if it was probably like a moment for the couple and they engaged in a light kissing affair.
I agree if they guy had his hands up her bu bu jaja then its a different story but can u imagine if like a light kiss is stared upon or somewhere a loud " aiyo" or "eeeeeeeeeee" is heard. Really shows our level of maturity.
Maybe such treatment is only for teenagers.
Let me tell you the consequences.
1)Teenagers will find secluded places to go "have their moments"
2)Being all alone, gives teenagers funny ideas.
3)Funny idea= a whole lot of bang bang boogie.
4)sex videos. unwanted pregnancies.
Now I am suggesting that everyone lightens up about this whole PDA and The PDA warriors compromise by keeping their clothes on.
Pornstar Jon
Ps. If PDA warriors want to take their clothes off, you can email me @ withrealjuice@hotmail.com and i know the exact place you can remove the clothes.
Ps for the PS. Females only.
withrealjuice scribbled at 4:25 PM. + + +
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Security Guard Syndrome
Well, this is a very common syndrome amongst security guards and thus they get the credit of having the syndrome named after it.
This syndrome has to do with power. Different people have different amount of power in different areas. Teachers are kings in schools but still have to beware of the gansters they teach in schools when they are out on the streets. Diners are customers and customers are kings when they are at a restaurant but when the waiters handle their food, guess again who's the king.
The most common kind of people is actually the security guards. And I've got the perfect example.
Let's imagine one of the msot powerful man in Singapore, LKY. He wants to enter a buldiing at an odd hour and a man of his "prestige" will have no problem right.
Ok, now imagine an old man who is probably moonlighting and has no education. He is the security guard to that building and he can disallow LKY from entering the building and he does it just bcos he can.
Now thats the Security Guard Syndrome.
Very common and many of us have faced it.
I was just thinking and realised how this world is not actually perfect but it seeks its balance and its slowly happening. Which means, there will always be smth to worry about but we must learn how to enjoy the beauty in life.
Ok. Now how to deal with the SGS.
We all know it can hurt a bit when you are at the losing end of the syndrome but really there is nth you can do about it. ou jsut have to mallow urself down. And walk away. You could put up a fight but then ask yourself if its really worth it.
Now I've got nth else to say but I just want you to think of this syndrome which is the smallest thing in out daily lives but how it will affect us greatly. But what i can depart to you is to ask yourself every minute when you want to flare up or react negatively is.... " Is it really worth it?"
Security Guard Council. wahahahahaha
withrealjuice scribbled at 9:52 PM. + + +
Jacob the Show Off/ My Princess
Many have hated me for being the arrogant ass I am.
But there are those few that love me and this is one helluva beauty I've found.
Come all men. Be envious. Yes you hate me. Mua hahahahaha
Now, I love my woman and as you can see, I'm proud as hell to have her in my arms.
Love, this is for you.
Waking up was pointless.
Till you came.
You bring that meaning into my life
and boy do I feel a rush whenever I'm with you.
People can say what they want.
People can do what they want.
We'll slump ourselves of the grass patch and share ice-cream.
We'll hold hands and walk down "our road" with our lovely musician.
We'll get lost on golf courses.
We'll visit cathay and starbucks regularly.
We'll hold hands again.
We'll hold Bon Jovi close to our hearts.
We'll visit the airport again.
We'll read off the Disney Book.(hehe)
We'll have super fast train rides.
We'll hold hands again.
We'll.....
I love you, Princess.
withrealjuice scribbled at 12:26 PM. + + +
Space.
I always wondered a few things about a couple. Firstly, how long it takes for them
to hold hands? How long till the 1st kiss? How long till they get under the covers?
How long till they take the walk down the aisle? How many times a week they get under the covers? What they do under the covers? Can I join them under the covers?
Woooops. Got a little lost there but you get the point.
But the thing I always wondered is the amount of space a couple should give each other. Obviously, it differs from people to people. I am comfortable with anything
actually as long as I have my wee bit of space to meet up with the guys.
And gladly, my princess has no problem with that.
I hope she has no problem with the amount of space I give her too.
Hmmm.... but I always feel like I am lacking her. Haha... I really need to ORD. Then I can really be merry.
We all know that amount of space shouldn't even be a thing of discussion
but the only reason why I brought it up is b'cos I have a "space" joke to share
and didnt know how i could. But now since i've touched on "space",
Girl: I've got something to tell you.
Boy: Shoot.
Girl: I need some space.
Boy: Go marry an astronaut. (courtesy of an old friend)
WAHAHAHAHA....
Ps. How this whole space thing really works is that you trial stuff and see if it works.
Best way is to always be talking to each other and finding out how things are
and learning about each other. It might take years to find out but that what
relationships are about. Spending years together. Hehe.
Peace out ( or you could say Space out. Wahahahahahahaha)
Jonathan
withrealjuice scribbled at 11:45 AM. + + +
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I love Feminism.
A doctrine that advocates equal rights for women. This is the definition offered by www.dictionary.com. I'm wondering why people fight so hard for women. They must really love women. Next thing comes to my mind is...but wait men aren't feminist! Women are! So women love women! Haha.... Far fetched? I dont think so. Only one reason why u fight so hard and represent something. You feel for it. Alot.
So comes the next idea.When one female loves another. Lesbianism. They would be greatly angered if someone comes in their way of their female loving environnment. See the similarities. Hence it is only clear to say feminism = lesbianism.
But do i hate them? NO! Men think lesbians are hot. Well they are suppose to be. They are on the internet at least. watching two women do their thing just guides a man's imagination to what they would do for him. Besides, although it is twice the trouble, it is also twice the pleasure.
Now we also know lesbians don't really hate men! Instead they love men alot. The evidence lies in the fact that their partners keep short hair and trying to imitate the uncanny similarities of a man. Have yo ever seen Ellen DeGeneres in a dress or long hair?
It is a pretty smart move to be falling in love with a "female man". Simply because when u get intimate there is no risk of pregnancy and hence the lack of drastic consequences. However, you won't be as satisfied! so just drop this whole womanly macho act and come to us men and if u really want to show your affection for the other ladies, share your men! The ladies will be happy to be getting a good veriety of us. Now that's welfare for women! Haha...
The whole world will be happy then and happiness is what i think many of us are searching for. Let us all be happy.
Loving women all around the world,
Ambassador to all Men.
Ps. Some of my lit teachers claim to be feminist!
withrealjuice scribbled at 4:10 PM. + + +
Monday, October 02, 2006
The Goddess.
3 bloody posts in a day. I'm on a roll here aint I but this post is special. Its no gibberish.
Half a moon was nothing compared to a full moon.
A golf course always brought yawns.
Chinatown was for Chinese people.
Supermarket was more responsibility.
A Lift lobby was a place to litter.
Love was just Love.
Now, all these are more than beautiful. You work miracles in my life and have made my world so beautfiul. Love you Hera.
withrealjuice scribbled at 7:20 PM. + + +
Spiderman is so cool
FINALLY!!! my own bloody blog. I've spent the whole of today working on this sweet stuff. Many thanks to Doc CK for helping me. I've created many blogs but I was too busy studying in school to actually have a proper one. (wahahahahahahaha) but no worries, I'll go salvage those words of wisdom and post them here.
Well, here's one.
Many people have problems and brother Vik found its root cause.
VIK: I can prove that women are the root of all problems. Can you think of any men who are the casue of your problems?
JON: SURE... My father.
VIK: HIS MOTHER WAS A WOMAN!
wahahhahahaha
Tsk tsk women....
Good shit right. No worries. Many more to come.
Ps. I hope someone still loves me. Besides, you are exceptional.
withrealjuice scribbled at 6:55 PM. + + +
BLOGS ARE SO COOL!!!!
BLOGS ARE SO COOL! I JUST NEEDED ONE SINCE EVERYONE HAS ONE. I AM A MINDLESS DRONE AND WILL FOLLOW WHATEVER PEOPLE WILL DO. I AM SO COOL.
PS. BOREDOM HAS DRIVEN ME HERE TO REALLY INFLICT PEOPLE WITH MY SHIT AND I WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD THIS REALLY COOL GEM I FOUND AND WILL BE KEEPING FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. hehe
withrealjuice scribbled at 6:40 PM. + + +
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